"I'll take my check now, thankyouverymuch."

Newt Gingrich has selflessly released his contract with Freddie Mac. It’s available at the Washington Post website, where you can read it in all its glory.

Much of the contract is legal boilerplate, saying things like if you give us a report in electronic form, you won’t crash or hack our computer system, or do things that will allow someone else to do that. (Yes, that’s really there. See page six.) Everything Newt produced for Freddie Mac is now the property of Freddie Mac, including not just final documents but also drafts and notes that led up to those documents. (See page seven.)

The fun part of the contract, though, is the “Scope of Services” on page 14. Here’s where the contract lays out just what it is that Newt is expected to do for his $25,000 per month consulting fee:

SCOPE OF SERVICES AND FEES
Agreement between The Gingrich Group and Freddie Mac Consultant will provide consulting and related services as requested by Freddie Mac’s Director, Public Policy in exchange for which Freddie Mac will pay Consultant $25,000 per each full calendar month during which Consultant provides Services.

That’s it. That’s the whole discussion of what Freddie Mac and Newt agreed would be Newt’s job description.

It’s like Newt’s whole job is contained in the bottom line of every job description most of us have ever seen: “. . . and other such duties as may be assigned.”

Kind of makes you wonder what “consulting and related services” Freddie Mac’s Director for Public Policy would have asked Newt to do for his $25,000 a month.

Folks around here have pretty decent imaginations . . . If you’ve got any ideas for what Newt might have done that would have been worth $25,000 a month, please put them in the comments.

UPDATE:

This contract says more about confidentiality of work product than it does about the actual work. Indeed, the actual subject of the work is to remain confidential. From page 4:

The term “Freddie Mac Information” means all information provided by Freddie Mac (or by others working with Freddie Mac) to Consultant, or to which Consultant is exposed as a result of or in connection with this Agreement or while providing Services or Deliverables, whether delivered orally, electronically or in writing and whether or not it is specifically marked or designated confidential. The term “Freddie Mac Information” also includes: the subject matter of Services and Deliverables [i.e., reports, memos, etc.] for which Freddie Mac has engaged Consultant to provide: and (ii) all materials that Consultant prepares based on Freddie Mac Information, including, without limitation, notes made by Consultant based on discussions with Freddie Mac employees and any reports and other Deliverables.

Consultant will treat all Freddie Mac Information as strictly confidential. . . .

IOW, Newt would be breaking the contract if he disclosed exactly what he was asked to do.

Gosh. And here we all thought Newt was trying to hide something, when all along he was being a good upstanding contract-abiding guy.

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photo h/t to Gage Skidmore