[Editor's note: the latest in Phoenix Woman's series on making the most of Netroots Nation 2011 -- June 16-19, in her homeworktown of Minneapolis, Minnesota.]
Alright, so we left our pubcrawling Netrootsers leaving Kieran’s (though frankly, I’d rather stay at Kieran’s, but that’s me). Off to our next destinations!
Now, Kieran’s happens to be in what’s called the “Block E” complex, and its owners are pushing mightily for the state legislature to change the law so they can turn it into a giant casino. The pretext? Block E’s increasingly empty state. What they don’t mention is that at least one of the two most recent businesses to leave, Panchero’s, was doing land-office business — and was apparently told to leave by the landlord because they didn’t fit in with the landlord’s plans. (I’d heard something similar about Applebee’s when talking with an Applebee’s employee during the last week it was open.) In the meantime, Block E is home to a fancy bar and four-Zagat-star restaurant, Cosmos, and a somewhat less fancy and more alcohol-involved joint in the basement called Bradstreet Crafthouse, that are connected to the fancy Graves 601 hotel. It’s also home to the Minneapolis outlet of the SHOUT! House chain, which features “rock and roll duelling pianos”. I think I’ll pass. Oh, and there’s a Hard Rock Café in the complex as well. I think I’ll pass again.
As for the rest: Gluek’s is a lovely old bar that’s survived destruction by fire to stay in its original spot for nigh on a century, a remarkable feat in a developer-cursed city such as Minneapolis. (Ask me to tell you about the Conservatory follies sometime.) Nearby is Jetset, and I’m sure it’s OK — but I’m anxious to get you all across the river, to Nye’s Polonaise at 112 East Hennepin Avenue — aka, per Esquire magazine in October of 2006, The Best Bar in America:
THE BEST BAR IN AMERICA isn’t Irish. It isn’t in a strip mall. It isn’t the sort of place that charges an outrageous cover for people to stand around in black light pushing back shooters out of test tubes. It isn’t a fight club or a meat market. There is no snobbery, and there is no tonic-water drinking. There are gimlets and manhattans, bottles of Zywiec, and a first-rate pissoir.
The best bar in America occupies a corner where the path to righteousness and the road to perdition run parallel, east to west, perpendicular to the muddy river that cuts this country in two, north to south. The best bar in America has occupied this physical and spiritual intersection since 1950. The best bar in America lies across the Mississippi from downtown Minneapolis over a bridge named for Father Louis Hennepin, and it has a sign on its yellow-brick exterior that points the way to Our Lady of Lourdes, cast in the red-neon glow of another that reads LIQUORS. The best bar in America also saw one of its doormen murdered last summer.
The best bar in America is Nye’s Polonaise.
More accurately, it is the two best bars in America–Nye’s Bar, known as the “Old Side” to its ancient staff and unshifting regulars, and the upscale bordello kitsch of the Polonaise Room–connected through their shared fire wall by a pair of swinging doors. When it comes right down to it, you’re either Nye’s or you’re Polonaise, making this place a kind of crossroads inside and out.
It’s all that and more. Much more.



7 Comments




Feel like I am getting to know the area. tweeted.
Enjoy reading these descriptions.
Live music;
Lee’s Liquor Lounge (downtown MPLS)
The Turf Club (University Ave. STP)
The Half-Time Rec (Front St. STP)
The Dubliner Pub (University Ave. STP)
331 Club (NE MPLS)
Just to name a few good joints.
Oh, indeed. I’ve been largely confining myself to places within a mile of the Convention Center (and out of the DMZ), but yes, the Rec is a lovely dive of an Irish bar. More on that tonight.
Nye’s is pretty special. I don’t get over there often enough. I prefer to drink places where I can walk, err stumble, home afterwards :)
Turf Club is great for live music, like Bob said. Spent a lot of time there getting shitty and embarrassing myself in front of girls when I was an undergrad down the street. If you like dive bars at all or you’re a youngish hipster type…Liquor Lyle’s on Hennepin in Uptown (MPLS) is THE place for you. The people watching is spectacular, you’re guaranteed to make some friends because people WILL just talk to you, and drinks are cheap cheap cheap. Hell, the food is really cheap too. They have nightly two for ones. Just don’t drive there and expect to drive home. I’m not a hipster but I definitely appreciate the scene.
Really though, if you only make it to one bar when you’re here it should be Nye’s. Nye’s is just…legendary, ephemeral, unimpeachably cool…just a fantastic place. Cannot go wrong. Order a gimlet, pretend you’re in “Mad Men”, do whatever, it will be a memory.
Part of what makes it so cool is that it doesn’t get in the way of the people who go there. It’s a welcoming environment for people who are genuinely interesting. (If you’re really looking for The Most Interesting Man in the World, he’s probably sitting at the piano bar in Nye’s.) You can walk into the old side of the bar in full Lady Gaga regalia and folks who were tweens when Sinatra was top of the heap will smile, razz you a little, and make room for you at the tuck-and-roll piano for a singalong.
All exactly right. A Twin Cities institution that would hopefully never go away.
Someday we might have to picket the State Capitol to get the state to keep Nye’s open, even if it runs at a loss! It’s just that special, methinks.
It doesn’t try to be hip, and it’s not a meat market where you can feel the hookup flop sweat drenching the air (though there are couples who met at Nye’s). It’s not forced. It just… is.