David Dayen does a lovely job of dissecting this wretchedly dishonest exercise in Galtian self-pity by Jamie Dimon and his fellow one-percenter elites, but I can’t help taking a swing at that fastball they parked right over the plate.

So anyway, how many of these self-alleged “job creators” are totally self-made superior beings? Hmmm, not many:

– Dimon, like so many other “job creators” quoted or mentioned in the piece, was born on third base and thinks the single he hit from there is a home run. His father Theodore was an Executive Vice President at American Express and could afford to send Young Master James to Browning prep school before packing him off to Tufts and Harvard. With a parental safety net like that, he would have had to work hard to fail.

– Peter Schiff not only had a cosseted upbringing, being the son of an insurance broker who sent him to Beverly Hills High, but his father Irwin is also a key leader of the wackaloon tax protester movement (and a sucker for Ponzi schemes). So much for the superior being concept.

– Bernie Marcus comes closer to being self-made, but he had heavy parental support and the good luck to come of age during the post-World-War-II boom: His dad employed him as a cabinet maker so Bernie could pay for his pharmacist’s degree at Rutgers. I’d like to see him try that now in the era of skyrocketing college costs and student loans that can’t be discharged via bankruptcy.

– John A. Allison? The Fourth? Do you even have to ask? Went to UNC/Chapel Hill and then Duke in the late ’60s/early ’70s, added to the pile he inherited, and is now one of the biggest Ayn Rand acolyte around. Yup, totally self-made Ayn Rand hero – NOT.

– Allison’s buddy Thomas Stemberg? His dad was an Austrian restaurateur who had moved to New Jersey and he himself went to the American International school in Austria before going to Harvard. Not exactly a latter-day Huck Finn.

– Tom Golisano may well be self-made (his dad allegedly sold macaroni and his mom was a seamstress), but he’s also insane and selfish — he was one of Carl Paladino’s major backers. He had donated to Obama and Kerry, but got his fee-fees hurt when Obama didn’t bow down verbally to Wall Street submissively enough and threatened to go Galt on NYC. Awwww. (Not sure if he bothered to get divorced from his second wife before taking up with the young-enough-to-be-his-daughter Monica Seles, but morality is for the little people, not superior Galtian beings like him.

Meanwhile, actual self-made guys like Warren Buffett and various tech millionaires have no problem with taxation, probably because they didn’t grow up with either obscene wealth or the burning desire to acquire same and the devil take the hindmost.

I swear, rugged-individualist Galtians are the worst and most pathetic whiners of all.