Space Man! (Image: x-ray-delta-one, flickr)

Space Man! (Image: x-ray-delta-one, flickr)

In recognition of today’s events, here’s an ode to Herman Cain, adapted from David Bowie’s classic  song “Space Oddity“:

Ground Control to Major Herm
Ground Control to Major Herm
Take your little blue pill and put your “helmet” on

Ground Control to Major Herm
Commencing meltdown, engines on
Check indignation and may God’s shove be to you

Nine-Nine-Nine; Nine-Nine-Nine, Liftoff

This is Ground Control to Major Herm
You’ve really made the grade
And the papers want to know which flirt you share
Now it’s time to leave the capsule if you dare

“This is Major Herm to Ground Control
I’m dropping through the floor
And I’m tanking in a most peculiar way
And the polls look very different today

For here
Am I sitting in a scandal
Far above the world
Planned it, till it blew
And there’s nothing I can do

Though I’ve made passes at one thousand gals
I’m feeling randy still
And I think my ‘spaceship’ knows which way to go
Tell my wife I love her very much” (she-woes)

Ground Control to Major Herm
Your campaign’s dead, there’s something wrong
Can you hear me, Major Herm?
Can you hear me, Major Herm?
Can you hear me, Major Herm?
Can you….

“For here am I passing ‘round my tin can
Far above the world
Planned it, till it blew
And there’s nothing I can do”