Tweet
Breaking news: At a White House press briefing, Secretary of Health and Human Services Kathleen Sebelius announced that a deal was being cut with congress to include a special program in the upcoming health care reform, commonly known as ObamaCare. “In recognition of the traumatic stress syndrome that uniquely afflicts many Republicans, we are adding a program to provide psychological counseling for those Republicans who want it. We hope that the bipartisan nature of this gesture will help to ensure speedy passage of the legislation.”
Kathleen Sebelius went on to explain the thinking behind the new program. “We are aware of the serious mental problems being faced by many Republicans in the current situation. It’s not easy going from ‘This is my country, suck it up!’ to ‘You are an undesirable, and a rather hysterical one too’. We Democrats were in a similar position eight years ago, so we know what it’s like and we can feel their pain,”
Most leading Republicans decried the move. “The White House is trying to label Republicans as loonies, but there’s nothing wrong with us! Just look at those town hall protests in August, and the tea party demonstrations. Those were good loyal patriotic Republicans just displaying their core values. The constitution gives us the right to act as we please, and we intend to keep on yelling and screaming and running around with guns until we get what we want!” proclaimed Newt Gingrich.
“It’s the liberals who are crazy!” agreed Rush Limbaugh. “Next thing, they’ll be prescribing lobotomies for conservatives! Well, if anyone tells me I need a lobotomy, I’ll give him a piece of my mind!”
Asked if he was disappointed by the lack of gratitude on the part of Republican leaders, President Obama shrugged his shoulders and pointed to polling showing that many Republicans suffered from feelings of disorientation, alienation and inferiority. “We’re just trying to help these poor souls, these unfortunate fellow Americans, so they can once again lead productive lives and make positive contributions to society. Of course, we are aware that there are many cases where the psychological condition is so serious that we have to face the fact that we’re talking about a lost cause.”
“But isn’t being a Republican a ‘pre-existing condition’?” asked one of the journalists.
“Ah, now that’s a very good point,” replied Obama. “That’s why it is so important that we get the ‘public option’ included in this legislation. We’ve talked to representatives for the health insurance industry, and they’re unanimous on this. There isn’t a single one of them who are willing to attempt to get Republicans to accept reality.”
To be continued…
41 Comments
Snarky, but on point!
Ditto
Actually, it’s the truth — the conservative mind has been proven to be incapable of cognitive dissonance b/c it’s not hard-wired for it. Scientists did studies, MRI scans, etc. for a number of years and proved that the part of the brain responsible for the concept of being able to manage opposing pov’s at the same time was missing in people who described themselves as politically conservative.
They found the same thing to be true of people who professed themselves to be religious, too — which isn’t surprising to me. I have uber-conservative relatives who’re also uber-religious and they really, truly believe that Prez Obama is a marxist radical Muslim ferriner out to enslave all us white people until he can kill us all off. And then, they go to church and think that they’re the only “good” people on the planet!!!
The goppies are trying to get ahead of the curve and paint everyone who says they’re crazy as being the ones who’re crazy themselves.
It’s Frank Luntz’s favorite gimmick: change the definition of words, when you can’t win the argument on merits.
Not just trying — they’ve perfected the art of the pre-emptive strike. Accusing your opponent of what you’re guilty.
It comes naturally, because they have projective personalities, in denial of their dark sides.
It’s how religious haters can see themselves as good people.
Dead on straight.
You nailed it.
It’s called projection and yes, they are the masters of it.
Anti-religious sentiment?! I’ll get out the megaphone and soapbox.
The GOP committed cognitive dissonance every time they said we were winning in Iraq. The facts for years said one thing their magical thinking minds saw something else.
They maybe unable to resolve cognitive dissonance though.
That was delusional reinforcement.
Trust me, I grew up with it.
I grew up in the GOP burbs.
Agreed we can’t play his game there is right and wrong words have meaning.
Rennie, this is outstanding and funny. It’s also true – *sob*
Nope I don’t recall us lying about shit. That and we tended to shout down our Crazy’s 9/11 conspiracy theories on the net.
The GOP gave Lou Dobbs air time to lie about Mexicans spreading Leprosy. Did KO ever joke about putting in poison in Nancy Pelosi’s drink?
We police our own in the comments the GOP gives theirs Nut Jobs air time.
I don’t ever recall us bringing guns to an event bush was going to be at. In fact people who wore what the reublics thought were undesirable tshirts were arrested at those events and that’s if they were even able to get in.
Yeah! I should have mentioned the GOP going all gun crazy!
IMO it’s just so far over the line. And I hate to say this but some day there is going to be a puke POTUS and the gun toting is probably not a good precendent for them to set. What are they going to do about it now that they are all going around saying how good it is to carry your guns around.
Lobotomies are not good enough. Conservatives need more drastic treatment, they should have total brain transplants. Neo-cons do not need psychological treatment, at least for the brain. They think with another organ, the same one they sit on.
Co-signed!
they can once again lead productive lives and make positive contributions to society.
No evidence of this ever having happened previously.
Funny. Know what’s funnier? The theft of your money by Wall Street under Obama. He has sold out. Third party, please.
That’s funny?
Don’t think so. He can’t be right 100%, but I agree, he got some bad advice on how to play that move — hopefully he’ll recover in time.
Sister Sarah’s got the third party locked this time around (the goppies know it and are p*ssed off, royally, too).
Maybe a fourth party? Things could be gettign interesting . . .
“Got some bad advice?” Now that’s funny. Financial fraudsters when discovered always claim the ignorance defense. Obama is a smart guy. He knows what is going on with Wall Street.
You think a third paty is the answer?
Then answer this question.How would you garner enough Electoral Votes
to elect a president?
It’s not a calculated plan, but a reaction to the sad fact that even the Democratic party has been co-opted by the powers that be. The Repubs are a party of platformless reactionaries. The Dems throw a few bones at the common man, but allow the fraud and looting to continue. So what to do?
lol phraseology
I wonder how much you could get on ebay if you auctioned off a piece of Limbaugh’s mind.
A few years for Fraud?
You think I’m assuming minds not in evidence?
Good point that new *cough* Dem study that says on no! the GOP isn’t racist just paranoid and deluded I doubt its findings highly. I see no point in studies that look to excuse GOP behavior with lies.
I get your point, ThingsComeUndone, but I personally wonder if some members of my family aren’t truly & honestly suffering from some kind of mental illness. If you could see what I see (having known them forever), you might tend to think that there is some delusional paranoia going on.
I certainly do not use that as means to “excuse” them from any of the excesses of their behavior. However, I am really wondering how we, as liberals, can seriously seek some means of communicating with them. Don’t know if that’s just wishful thinking or completely out of the question.
But trying to figure out what, exactly, is happening with them is possibly one way of finding the means to deal with them coherently. To me, it’s more like they’ve all joined a serious cult. There’s lots of literature and info out there about how to handle cult members, plus there are people that can be hired to de-cult (if you will) loved ones.
I would say that most cult followers (not the leaders) are brainwashed and possibly suffering from a form of mental illness, perhaps akin to Stockholm Syndrome. I do not see that as an excuse, though, to exonerate them from any illegal behaviors, etc.
YES!!! Mocking republicans IS the correct response. It is in fact the only response to the insanity that is today’s republicans. But at the same time obamadmin must be prepared as the insane wingnut right increasingly feels freed to pursue their only solution to any of their perceived problems: violence. It will get increasingly bloody in the US>
Great idea! When and where can I sign up my entire extended family! You know how these idiotic teabaggers are always shrieking: I want my country back!!! Well, I want my family back! They were always a bit wierd, dysfunctional and definitely conservative, but lately they’ve moved so far out into the wingnuttisphere that I almost don’t know who the heck they are anymore.
Book Salon up at the Mothership with Bruce Bartlett’s The New American Economy: The Failure of Reaganomics and a New Way Forward hosted by James Galbraith
Did You mean the Obama Care package for the insurance companies.
Or the congresional rape of the American people in the name of healthcare, to give the insurance industry their welfare.
Or the American sucker sandwich, under the guise of healthcare.
Oh, the snark…!
The teabaggers do indeed appear delusional. Based on their level of paranoia, disorganized thinking, and manic behavior I believe they have moved into psychosis. They have become a danger to themselves and others. It’s Haldol time in their tea and then mandatory hospitalization. They shall be known by tail-tell t. dyskinesia, placed on disability, and their children shall take their estates. Perhaps only then will they find recovery through deep personal experience in the truth of lack of care to the under-funded unfortunate among us/me. Can I get an Amen?
Is it only Repubs that are capable of delusion? They are unquestionably the most severe. But consider this: say you are talking to a GREEN. They are generally considered pretty darn progressive, right? OK, then you say “Don’t you think that the most pressing environmental problem, the one from which all others flow, is OVERPOPULATION?” Most will say, fundamentally, yes. Then if you ask “do you agree that the greatest population driver in the U.S. today is the Latino population which quite obviously displays a belief in very large families? Quite often 4,5,6, children or more. This is a long way from sustainable Zero Population Growth, don’t you think?
Well now things get touchy. First indignation then sophistry, squirming and ultimately anger if you do not change the subject because you are well aware of how this usually goes. The Green just can’t stand to consider holding a position that may work against an “oppressed” group. Right wingnuts are the worst but they aren’t the only ones capable of some self-delusion when the conversation gets . . . uncomfortable.
signed, avid Spanish learner (true!)
> “Don’t you think that the most pressing environmental problem, the one from which all others flow, is OVERPOPULATION?”
Apropos, you may like the blog entry I just posted, “Bush Receives Award for Environmentalism”, http://seminal.firedoglake.com/diary/10110
PSychological testing for rethugs is a budget buster.
Really screw up their minds (like Chucky Grassley) and tell them it is required that every five years your doctor give any republican a psychological exam – and if you fail the exam, the repub automatically gets a lobotomy.
Right on, I like that.