Once upon a time there was a very little Barackling. Nobody liked him because he was so different. “Your skin’s the wrong color!” they said to him. “You talk funny!” they said to him. “You’re not one of us!” they said to him.

This made the little Barackling sad because he, like everyone else, wanted to be accepted and loved.

The little Barackling grew older and got bigger, and the criticisms just kept coming. “You don’t worship our God!” they said to him. “You don’t live with your parents!” they said to him. “You’re not one of us!” they said to him.

This made the young Barackling sad because he, like everyone else, wanted to be accepted and loved.

Eventually, the young Barackling was fully grown, and had become an adult Barack. He traveled around and tried to find his niche in the great big world, but it wasn’t easy. “You think you’re smarter than us!” they said to him. “You think you can make a difference!” they said to him. “You’re not one of us!” they said to him.

This made the adult Barack sad because he, like everyone else, wanted to be accepted and loved.

Then one day the adult Barack had a transcendental experience while attending a garden party. He saw, in a vision, a god-like figure playing a Fender guitar and belting out the lyrics, “You can’t please everyone, so you’ve got to please yourself!”

This revelation inspired the adult Barack to work harder and to learn more from those around him. He worked, and he learned, and he worked, and he learned. One day he became the president of the United States of America.

“You have become a beautiful adult Barack!” said most of the people. “You have a beautiful wife and beautiful children!” said most of the people.

But as usual there were the assholes who cried out, “You’re not one of us!”

And, fortunately for the adult Barack, they were right.

To be continued…