Once again, it is time for our weekly headlines that didn’t make it to CNN’s John King, because those nice folks at FDL are just too darn polite.

Breaking: Obama to switch parties, says he feels more comfortable in Reagan’s Party. Lennon/Ono photo to follow. Liberals cheer, throw rotten tomatoes.

Breaking: Dems to rename selves; be called “the Party that abandoned the New Deal” Liberals boo, throw rotten tomatoes.

Farmers report surging demand, prices for last week’s tomatoes. Economists who missed housing bubble baffled.

Man almost hits Murdoch with shaving cream pie; his phone line now being hacked.

Fox News plans Murdoch hacking special hosted by Steve Doocy: “The Rupert We Never Knew. Oh, wait . . .”

Nation’s people, Cities, crops, forests burning up while DC pretends it’s not happening, House strips climate research/regulation funding.

Radical group arrested for allegedly plotting to pull plug on Capitol Building air conditioners.

Chamber of Commerce, Business Roundtable, Wall Street start to panic; learn meaning of caveat emptor for buying Tea-GOP.

Economy stalled, jobless forgotten; so Congress and President develop $3-4 trillion dollar plans to restart recession, mimic 1937.

NYT editorial praises Gang of Six for recession-inducing plan it describes as reprehensible but not as godawful as those others.

“Audit the Fed” report shows Federal Reserve gave $16 trillion in loans to everyone in top 1 percent, including foreign banksters, who crashed the economy. Funny how they don’t call that a “debt crisis.”

Obama promises not to complain when GOP Senators reject his Not-Warren appointee to consumer agency.

European Ministers solve Greece problem: Agree they’ll all hold breath together until they pass out.

Wars? What wars? We don’t even do hostilities.

Nation happy to end Shuttle space program, because government never created any jobs or did anything that made us feel proud.

Emperor Grover Norquist uses tax cuts to buy new clothes; does naked flip-flop.

At least 80 Tea-GOP House members pledge to force default and damage US credit, in open defiance of US Constitution. If one al Qaeda member did this, Joe Lieberman would want him in Guantanamo.

This week’s advice. Buy mushy tomotaoes.