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Dear Levi & Mercede,
I was sorry to hear about your mom’s arrest and plea for drug use and selling drugs. I was even more sorry that it’s in the newspapers and on the blogs, and that people are making fun of her.
I am around your age (nearly 18) and my mom has been in jail for almost eight years on drug charges, so I know some of what you are going through.
I am also completely a busybody and am going to use this blog post to give both of you some advice.
- Go to Alateen. Or ACOA. Or someplace that’s NOT your church where you can learn about addicts and addiction how none of this is your fault and that you can’t cure your mom. Also, Mercede, if there’s a support group in your town or in your HS for kids who have a parent in prison, GO!
- Mercede, I don’t know who you are living with these days, but my brother became my guardian when he was 18, and he was way too young. And that’s without being a father himself or having reporters and photographers following him around. I hope that you stay with a family, a whole, real family, at least until you finish HS.
- You will find out really soon who your real friends are and who thinks a lot less of you because your mom is in jail. Sometimes even good friends can be insensitive, but at least they still like you for who YOU are. Some kids are incredibly creepy and think it’s cool to know someone who knows someone in jail. Stay away from them. Same thing with overly curious adults.
- People will ask you what they can do to help. It’s a dumb question, but if they ask twice, tell them to do something to improve life for prisoners and provide treatment for addicts. You may even want to join organizations that encourage treatment instead of prison for addicts.
- Stand up for your mom. Make sure that the lawyers and guardians and corrections people all know that someone is watching and that someone cares. I don’t visit anymore, but I do have an adult in my life who communicates with my mom and with the prison.
- Because your mom is an addict like my mom, and because we watched our moms use drugs instead of facing problems head-on, all three of us can become an addict more easily than most people. So learn what the signs are, and be careful, and watch out for each other.
We all need to work on making this country less inclined to incarcerate addicts and more inclined to help them find treatment. And that starts with making sure that drug use is not a crime. Prohibition didn’t work for alcohol and it’s not working for drugs.
I hope you do go to Alateen and counseling and get all the help you need to not have to ride your mother’s roller coaster addiction. You didn’t cause it and you can’t cure it, but you can learn healthy ways to get through the next few years.
Your friend,
Cassie
27 Comments
Great post, Cassie.
Good advice.
*applause*
Cassie,
Thanks for sharing information that you learned the hard way. I have an eighteen year old daughter so I have a hint of the social pressures on those your age. Your maturity shines through and will serve you well in the years to come.
Cassie, I’m so proud of you! It’s tough enough to bear the problems that you have borne, but you are willing to share your story in order to help others in the same situation.
I discern from your writing that you have learned early what many never learn, i.e., that we each determine who we are and what our principles are to be. Others may have control over us for a time, but none can control our inner being unless we let them. You are one beautiful and precious person!!
You also have excellent writing skills, Cassie. Therein may be the bridge to a productive career. I wish the best for you in all that you undertake.
Thanks for a thoughtful letter. Anyone who has been close to the addiction problem knows much pain (including money, spouse abuse, etc.)that you reveal. I hope the kids who are the recipients of your letter pay alot of attention. I cheer your honesty and your courage.
Thanks for this Cassie. There is a wealth of hard earned experience here.
bravo cassie! it takes a rare and wonderful courage to lay bare such painful history in public. You’ve given good advice, for people of all ages.
I hope they get to read this, Cassie. It’s good advice offered from the heart and they aren’t likely to get it elsewhere.
Good Post Cassie keep writing! I would add that Levi try and get his mom into whatever drug support group the Alaska prison system has.
As a Media Person Levi can bring light to the Alaskan Prison system which could encourage the Warden to make sure his mom gets treatment.
It would be nice if Levi then mentions at his next media appearance all the prisoners who need Drug and Alcohol treatment most state’s have waiting lists.
Beautiful, Cassie. You have such a big, amazing heart.
Thanks for the reminder that Mercede and Levi are really just kids who need understanding, compassion and good advice in a really hard situation.
You’re so awesome, Cassie! You have chosen to share your hardest and most personal experiences to help others. That is true compassion. May your example of strength and compassion always shine. May you always be blessed by The Light.
Actually I have harder personal experiences too.
Bravo Ms Snarky one. Only those who have experienced this stuff really understand !
I work part time in a home for teenaged boys.Many of our clients are experiencing much the same thing.
We even have a young man 18 who has no knowledge of his parents ,he has been in state care his entire life.
We have other kids who can’t “go home ” because there is no home to send them to. A lot of our kids end up in foster care ( if they’re lucky ).
Yesterday I had to do a supervised home visit with a client , his mother was smashed and uses methadone ,but
thats OK because at least she ain’t using dope !
I only work there 2 days a week ,it’s all I can take !
Good on you! This is one of the most humane and compassionate pieces I’ve read in days, and was totally a welcome read.
Brava!
(((((Cassie)))))
Wow, Cassie. This is just wonderful writing. Thank you so much for reaching out, and for showing how “experience” has helped you and how it might help Levi and Mercede.
I wish the MSM would pick up on this: Cassie as a member of the DFH, and how we care for those in need.
It has been a real pleasure to watch you mature as a writer. This is just excellent, helpful and personal. I only wish Levi and Mercede would read it.
I didn’t know what to expect to find before I opened your post, Cassie, but I was drawn in immediately and became increasingly touched and amazed as I continued to read what you were passing along based on your personal experiences with a painful and difficult part of life.
You’re a wonderful person, Cassie. Thanks for being so generous.
Thank you, Cassie. I know several adults I will be sending over. They need this, too.
This was just lovely!
bless your heart for your courage, skill, wisdom, hope and commitment to personal integrity. What a model you are for many.
Blessings and thanks, Cassie!
Well done Cassie.
excellent gesture, Cassie.
{{{{Cassie}}}}
You are maturing so well. There is well-grounded wisdom in your words.
Having watched this sadness play out from Wasilla, I haven’t seen any local or Alaskan advice for these two kids that made anywhere near this much sense.
Do you mind if I reprint your post at Progressive Alaska?
ET, I know that Cassie is trying to get it spread around and has sent a copy to the Wasilla newspaper, so I am sure she’d be honored if you reprint and send people to read her blog. http://frecklescassie.wordpress.com/
TexBetsy,
Thanks. Wish I had more time to spend around the lake, to chat and look at your great food pics. We’ve been busy.