Today at Salon, Brian Beutler wrote a story,

How to silence the NRA

In the hours after a mass shooting, all of a sudden, gun activists go quiet. It’s all part of a calculated strategy

In the comments was this:

mikey55 1 hour ago
Out law guns, only outlaws need them.

The response:

Blammo Media 41 minutes ago
@mikey55

Dear Mikey55. Thank you for your bumper sticker copy!

As you know, the phrase you used, (and all variations of it) is already in production and the copyright © is held by Blammo Ammo Camo Media LLC. You are welcome to purchase the bumper sticker ($5.00 for one or 3 for $20.00) but by using this copyrighted phrase in your comment you have agreed to our terms and conditions as follows.

Guns need them
“The phrase containing, ‘Guns and outlaws’ and all variations thereof is copyright Blammo Ammo Camo Media, LLC and is subject to reciprocity agreements in all 50 United States and the territories of Puerto Rico, Guam, and American Samoa.  Also included is Guantanamo Bay Detainment Camp and all black and non-black sites.  Using the phrase on military bases in Iraq and Afghanistan is also covered as well as in any occupied oil-producing countries.

“By using this statement you agree to pay the creators of said statement $5.00 for each use on a blog post or comment section (Purchase of a bumper sticker enables one free use.)

“You also agree that you have trouble thinking for yourself and will seek medical advice.

“If you do not pay for use of these statements, Blamo Ammo Camo Media LLC will be forced to place a lien on your house, mobile home, boat or shed. Failure to pay enables us to use 3rd party debt collectors suchs as “Guido and Sons, NJ; Collect All Saul Inc.; or I Want My Money, Bitch. LLC” who are licensed to collect on our behalf.

Research via Internet Archive and Google will calculate your total fees to date, beginning from the date of first use. If you are unable to pay the fees we have the legal right to seize your property as per this agreement which you consented to when you first started using the phrase. Sale of forfeited assets will be used to pay our fees (minus expenses used by our collection agents).

By using the phrase beyond your first time, you have agreed to these terms and conditions. Please send your check or money order to:

Blammo Ammo Camo Media, 500 K Street, Washington DC, 20001

Sincerely,

A. A. Ron Balakay

Senior Legal Counsel

BACM, LLC

P.S. We are also the copyright holder to any bumper sticker phrase beginning with, “Guns don’t kill people…” be advised that your comment history will be checked for use of this phrase and variations thereof.

Note: We are NOT attempting to censor you. You have your First Amendment rights. Blammo encourages use of our complete line of gun bumper sticker arguments, but we believe we should be compensated for our creative work. Using our ideas without paying is stealing. Picture in your mind how you would you act if someone tried to steal your things. We will act the same as you would, using the same methods and tools you just pictured.

Finally, if you come up with an original bumper sticker phrase you are welcome to use it, but please check to see who owns that phrase, it might be us. And then pay us if you are using it. You wouldn’t want to stiff us, would you?