I am so tired of seeing a pair of pants, or a sweater or sweatshirt, or even a passably wearable belt in my closet — only to try to put it on and realize there’s a reason I haven’t worn it in years. I’ve got lots of clothes for a smaller me. Today, they go.

Community Thrift, here I come! Get ready for a ZIPtruck with a bed packed to the gills with perfectly servicable, unstained clothes that just discourage me every time I try them on again. How many times do I have to chant to myself, lamenting those clothes I’ll likely never fit into, "But I quit smoking three years ago and haven’t had a puff since! And that counts for something, right?"

T-shirts, 501 Levi’s, sweatshirts, nice cotton or wool sweaters: was I ever really this thin? A 32-inch waist? I don’t think so, fellah. Perhaps these seersucker slacks were simply a great deal a couple of years ago. I don’t recall ever trying them on! Did I ever actually wear them to the autumn garden party I unspooled in my head when I saw them on the rack? Well, they certainly don’t fit anymore, even if they ever did.

I’m sure they are too lightweight for anyone to wear, even in SF this time of year, but maybe an enterprising costume designer is hunting the thrift store for Guys ‘n’ Dolls outfits. I can hope they find a good use for these. The most fun at Community Thrift? Deciding what wonderful agencies will benefit from the sale of my bags and bags of stuff — this store lets you designate the beneficiary at drop-off!

And what about those seven leather coats in my other closet? Surely half — or more! — of those were for a substantially thinner leather daddy than I am now. Off to consignment they go, with fundage earmarked for the local food bank. They are all handsome, a couple actually custom-made, but I can’t imagine wearing them, or being the guy who wore them again. Another life, another wearer for all of these.

Join me, won’t you? Lookup your local thrift store, pack up a couple of shopping bags so you don’t feel lonely on Black Friday, and cart them across town where they’ll do more good than sitting in your bureau. I’m loving the newly discovered size of my tiny-bedroom-turned-walkin-closet. Who knew there was all this space in here? And seeing my wearable but too-small clothes gain a second life with those smart shoppers who "thrift" makes me feel like I’ve done something more constructive for our warming & trashed planet.

Enjoy reverse-shopping!