Susan G. Komen, Cure

(photo: michaelhyman300/flickr)

So the Susan G Komen Foundation has hired an expensive reputation consulting firm (the firm run by Mark Penn, who ruined Hillary Clinton’s shoo-in candidacy for president in 2008 by not knowing how Democratic Party state caucuses work — good luck with this project, Ambassador Brinker!) to ask supporters how they might repair their reputation after the Planned Parenthood fiasco entirely of their own creation.

In addition to asking supporters what they think of Komen…

The 20-minute questionnaire first asks a series of questions to determine how favorably people feel about Komen now and how likely they are to donate to it, as compared to the American Cancer Society, Planned Parenthood and the Breast Cancer Research Foundation.

It then launches into a series of questions about messaging: Did you read the media stories about Komen defunding Planned Parenthood? Which parts of certain passages most affected your opinion of Komen? Are you upset with the organization as a whole, or a few individuals? Was the decision about political ideology?

the survey also suggests a list of personalities who might be engaged by the Foundation to assist them in conveying their message (of apology? of change? unclear) to the public. I found this list uncommonly hysterical and wanted to share it with you. Nothing better demonstrates how out of touch Mark Penn is, even on this issue.

Note that respondents could rate the names Very credible, Somewhat credible, Not very credible, Not credible at all, or Don’t know:

Spokesperson from Susan G Komen For the Cure

Tom Daschle, former Senate Majority Leader
Breast Cancer Survivor
Sheryl Crow
A member of Congress
Suzanne Somers
Christina Applegate
Former President Bill Clinton
Ellen DeGeneres
People who participate in Susan G Komen for the Cure walks or races
Giuliana Rancic
Rudy Giuliani, former Mayor of New York City
Nancy Brinker, Susan G Komen for the Cure CEO
Melissa Etheridge
Dorothy Hamill
Eric P Winer, MD, Director of Breast Oncology Center, Dana-Farber Cancer Institute
Sandra Day O’Connor, former Supreme Court Justice
Former President George H W Bush
Neil Patrick Harris
Lance Armstrong

Now, I have my own idea how this list got generated, in that it’s not in alphabetical order and seems pretty stream-of-consciousness.

– scene, PSB conference room, during list-making brainstorm session, after lunch is delivered –

PSB underling: “Ooooh, ooh! Giuliana Rancic from E! just had treatment, she’d be great!”

(Inattentive Mark Penn): “[Chomp, Chomp] Who? Rudy Giuliani? What?”

underling (raises voice): “No, I said Giuliana Rancic — but Rudy would be great, too, Mark! Great idea! Super!”

mid-level account manager: “Oh, wait, we’d better put Nancy Brinker on the list, she’s paying this bill, even though they should never ever use her.”

– and: scene –

Who do you think is most ludicrous on this list? And why do you think people pay Mark Penn any money for anything, ever?