I got a bit bored last night, so took to writing/Tweeting some Dick Cheney Heart Transfer Jokes.

Yes, some are not very good. And unfortunately, the best ones are entirely inappropriate, but hey, the guy’s a war criminal, so spare me the outrage.

Here they are (in 140 characters or less):

10. Hope Dick Cheney pulls through. Don’t want him evading justice that easily.

9. Dick Cheney will live to torture us another day.

8. When I said before that Dick Cheney was heartless, you though I was kidding around.

7. Haven’t listened to Chris Matthews in months, but I predict he lectured his viewers tonight that it’s pronounced Cheenie, not Cheney.

6. To allow 71 year old war criminal to cut ahead in long waiting list (where children get priority), anonymous donor was secretly a chimp.

5. With five heart attacks already under his belt, Cheney feels new heart may give him an edge in topping the all-time record.

4. Poor Dick feared he’d shot his last friend in the face.

3. Anonymous donor turned out to be Liz Cheney. She’d had it on ice for well over a decade.

2. If I’m David Gregory, I don’t wanna be eating any Scottish Haggis at Liz’s house, unless she shows me Dick’s in a jar.

1. 5 heart attacks and a heart transfer, and he’s still here? It’s as if Hell won’t even have anything to do with him.

BONUS: Amnesty International told doctors, in advance, if they were to accidentally forget to administer the¬†anesthesia, even they’d look the other way.

Thank you! **bows** Thank you! Thank you! **bows again**

Originally posted at AlterPolitics