Tweet
(promoted by Jim Moss – A nice piece of searing satire that would be funny if it weren’t so true.)
The way most people in the US feel about Goldman Sachs hovers around the homicidal these days, and the good folks at GS are going to try to do something about it.
"The bank said that it was working with its largest shareholder, the billionaire investor Warren E. Buffett, in a $500 million project to help 10,000 small businesses by offering them business and management education, mentoring and access to capital."
Why, this..this..this sounds just like…one of those barnyard fables of yesteryear….
"Oh, yes, said the fox to the hen as he talked to her through the chicken wire on the hen house. "I can teach you so many things."
"Can you teach me how to scratch," asked the little red hen.
"No," said the fox, "I don’t scratch for my food; I kill smaller animals."
"Can you teach me how to lay eggs," asked the little red hen.
"No," said the fox. "I can’t lay eggs; I eat what I can find, though."
"Can you teach me to fly up into the trees at night to stay safe," asked the little red hen.
"No," said the fox. "I can’t fly – but I can dig under fences."
"I have no use for animals who dig under fences," said the little red hen and she flew up into the nesting boxes at the top of the chicken house, far, far away from the fox, who stood outside watching a young, foolish rooster preening himself in the sun out in the yard right next to the fence.
Sidling up to the colorful young fellow, the fox said, "Say there rooster, could I interest you in some derivatives?"
19 Comments
hahahaha you nailed the forkers toby
recommended
It’s just a way to generate more customers, you are absolutely correct.
Why would anyone with a halfway decent business want GS’s “business and management education” unless they had decided to run their enterprise into the ground? What are they going to teach, how to fill out the bailout application?
There once was a firm named Goldman, who’s prime ambition was to sack. They didn’t care what or who they sacked, just that they sacked. They sacked from the investors, and sacked from the people. They sacked from other banks and sacked from insurance companies. They sacked the markets, and the foreigners to, they sacked everybody until they all turned blue.
When their sacking started clacking, it was then they knew that sacking the Government was the thing to do. They sacked us all, so they wouldn’t fall. Now their back, and in the sack. Sacking us all, for another fall.
As their Gold grows, and sacking abounds, their telling us God wants them to make another round. They’ll take the bucks, even if we know it sucks.
This sure smells like vaporware to me.
And $500M? This from the firm that has so far this year put away something over $16B for their bonuses?
Anybody wanna buy a bridge?
I’m going to drop one of my past lives here – I used to do small business consulting for the dreaded SBA and I can tell you that any small business which is still living and breathing out there does NOT need management consulting “education” from Goldman Sachs. They need capital. Not ‘access to capital’, ‘help finding capital’ or anything else that has the vague odor of putting someone in between businesses and money. All that TARP funding and bailout stuff that they claimed was needed to lend to businesses (I’m looking at you, Henry Paulson, you lying sack of garbage)…has not been lent. That..was a lie. All of that money should be clawed right back and lent directly out to small businesses, which are basically being rapidly starved to death. We have a system for lending money out there and we have organizations with the experience to do the lending. There is no reason for allowing taxpayer money to either be hoarded by people with vampire-ic tastes…or be given out as some sort of ‘attaboy’ to sociopaths masquerading as ‘people doing God’s work’. Or, just take the money back, divide the total by the number of family units in the US and send everyone a check. If I hadn’t already done the weatherization on Chez Siberia, I’d use it for that. Since I have, I’d start a business and hire other people and make the damn jobs.
Insulting to lying sacks of garbage, btw
Bingo!
[And the foxes in our neighborhood these days have mange!]
I called up my computer’s calculator and tried to figure out what tenth of what percent the $500M (whoo whoo) was of their $16.7B, but my calculator couldn’t calculate it. Did your calculator manage to do that? I’d love to know. Thnx.
You have 500M / 16,700M. So, dropping the “M” (that is, the last “,000,000″) gives you 500 / 16,700, or about 3% (2.99…).
Actually, it’s more like .o299%.
Yep! That’s what I got, too.
here’s a new link about the President from Goldman Sachs:
Matt Taibbi from Rolling Stone, which employs fact checkers galore, in case your faith in Hope-n-Change inclines you to doubt the evidence presesnted.
Unless my math is off, GS could just give each of the 10,000 businesses $50,000 and they could forgo the advice, exemplary though it may be.
And now GS is stating, “It was a joke!”
BS. Just plain BS.
But the Guardian thinks Matt Taibbi got it right.
Remember the bully at school? The one who would verbally bully and then when his intentional actions were caught by kids and school authorities would reduce his bullying to, “It was suppose to be a joke.”
Bullies are whimps. They have an excuse for everything and only make apologies that suit their own cause.
Bullies are whimps, but they never stop being bullies till you kick their ass.
Nice one!
Damn you’re good! And thank you, too!
Who Knew; Mentoring is the new process of turning chicks into foxes? Not in the nice way.
Toby:
OT, I tried the rice pudding recipe with coconut milk. The rice I was using was very small grained and it seemed like too much liquid, so I used less milk, and added more rice, but then needed to add more milk.
I made a batch with lemon and one with cinnamon, too.
I need to try them both again, perhaps with different rice, and using your ratio. I loved the effect of the lemon, and I used only one. Next time, two!