When I first read the stories about Tyler Clementi, I had two thoughts: First, to talk to my son (who graduated last year from college and who had some of his own ‘fitting in’ issues) and second, to look back and find the news story from the spring about the study that showed that college students are less empathetic than they were thirty years ago. college students and empathy

Researchers delving into the personality of college students found that youngsters are definitely less empathetic than what they used to be.

They have become polarized and deeply cynical. Young Americans are unable to elicit feelings of concern for others with the same ease that their parents did nearly a couple of decades ago.

According to experts, the current crop of students are least likely to agree with statements such as “I often have tender, concerned feelings for people less fortunate than me,” or, “I sometimes try to understand my friends better by imagining how things look from their perspective."

These sentiments are widely acknowledged as markers of empathy but sadly are found lacking in youngsters today…. The trend is disturbing and there are multiple theories on why college kids today lack this social skill. Researchers consider social networking as a factor.

There is an increase in the use of the Internet and youngsters prefer virtual friends rather than real. There is no doubt that non-face-to-face relationships have less empathy.

When I spoke to my son about the case, he was very short with me. “No matter how you feel or how you get along with your roommate, that person IS your roommate. Your relationship should be based on trust – if no one will defend your roommate, you should. And vice versa.” When I pressed him about what Tyler Clementi’s roommate is accused of doing (and what he advertised doing and what he invited others over the Internet to join him in watching and commenting upon), my son said, “He’s a sadistic bastard.”

Now, looking at the comments from the article, one statement just jumped out at me: “They have become polarized and deeply cynical.”

What makes college students any different than the rest of the US population at this point? We have people (in and out of Congress) who feel very comfortable taking food stamp money away from poor families, or punishing families who have lost jobs and have been evicted from their homes. They not only feel comfortable, they also feel justified in expressing gratuitous and unwarranted criticisms about people who frankly, have fallen on hard times, or are different, or are immigrants, or are members of different religions.

Certainly, the Internet lends a level of anonymity to people that perhaps acts as a mask. In Tyler Clementi’s case (and others), people who seek to humiliate and damage others are not even attempting to use a mask. They are openly attacking people – and letting their victims know who they are and what they are doing. This lends them a certain level of power and injects their victims with high levels of the feelings of powerlessness.

Certainly, young people have bullied and humiliated one another forever. The difference today is not only that they have the technology and access to do so on a global scale; however, now people don’t even care. They don’t care if other people know that they have done it. They don’t care if the rest of society condemns it. They don’t care about the implications or long term results. They know that they have a group (and it may be small, but it’s theirs) who will email and tweet and IM them and tell them “This is great” or “So refreshing!”.

Not great. Not refreshing.

I’m not sure how we can change things in the United States, but this is not just a high school or college student problem and the sooner we recognize and call this for what it is, the damage it causes to individuals and to the society at large, the sooner we can get our arms around what can be done about it.

And ‘it’ is hate speech and people who do this stuff are committing hate crimes. It’s the only thing I can think of to call it.

(photo courtesy of banootah_qtr)