"Make Way" by shoothead on flickr. Quack, Quack, Quack.

"Make Way" by shoothead on flickr. Quack, Quack, Quack.

In anticipation of the President’s speech about jobs, and with a dismal NBC/Wall Street Journal poll, USAToday asked some CEOs (now where they found this bunch is beyond me, but…) about what they thought Obama should do.
CEOS give ideas on what Obama should do about jobs

Some of the responses were actually sort of interesting, but my absolute favorite came from John Schiller, chairman and CEO of Energy XXI, who said, “if the government would get out of the way, from a regulation standpoint, and let us [XXI] do what we do good you’ll see us continue to hire and grow this economy.”

Now, from the Aunt Toby, Grammarian standpoint, we will not discuss the phrase ‘do what we do good,’ ok? Doing good is not the same as ‘doing well’ but perhaps Mr. Schiller is trying to get in a twofer here. What I decided to do was to actually test this.

The phrase ‘you’ll see us continue to hire’ needs examination. “You will see us continue to hire” – this means to me that Energy XXI is already hiring (hoorah for Energy XXI!) and Mr. Schiller is saying that they will keep right on hiring and will ‘grow this economy’ (all by themselves? Amazing).

So, being the annoying person that I am, I went to their website. Surely, they must have a career section and be showing all of these juicy, well-paying jobs for which they are recruiting (i.e., ‘continue to hire’), right?
Energy XXI Career Search

So, I go there and I do a search using ‘all departments’. Nyet.
So, I think perhaps that feature doesn’t work this way and I try other departments, especially the easy ones like accounting,

Nyet. No jobs. Energy XXI is not hiring for anything.

OK, so perhaps Energy XXI uses one of the sites on the internet to hire and I’m just being an old (or quasi-old) fuddy-duddy.

I go to Monster.com, which I think is one of the biggest recruitment sites on the ‘innertubes’. You can search by company there, so that if you are lusting after a job with Consolidated Ratsnest, Inc., you can go straight there instead of just wading through all the junior account clerk jobs at every other ratsnest in the country listed on Monster.com.

And….zippo.

No jobs. Energy XXI is not recruiting – not hiring (well, unless you are the son of one of Schiller’s golf buddies, I suppose).

Mr. Schiller, you’re full of s**t.