I hope that the stained-glass angel won’t get in the way for you, but if so, consider that angel imagery comes under many different guises: Thought Adjusters, allies, Elohim, messengers…no matter; perhaps they stand for our higher consciousness when we are simply tuned in, or on the wheel of life. Regardless, it’s the best and most complete version of Bruce’s treasure of a song out there, so I hope it poses no problem for you.
He was clearly touched by the divine when he wrote it, and as most of the best art in the world, it’s so full of metaphor that today it spun me in its cocoon of understanding and apparent contradiction that closer listening can bring to us.
Please allow me to bring to you some of what I see hovering around the music, the poetry…the fuller vision and wisdom he shares, for methinks he is a traveler, as many of you are, with one foot on the planet and one foot…one hand…reaching out into other realms…into the different realities that we cannot see, but sense nonetheless.
There you go
Swimming deeper into mystery
Here I remain
Only seeing where you used to be
Stared at the ceiling
Yes, his friend had died, and one foot stayed here, and he mourned and wept until his ‘ears filled up with tears’. He allowed himself, and us, to immerse into the sorrow of his loss…and to grieve, by extension…all loss. The big deaths have been so formalized by now that we allow ourselves to grieve; but the little deaths of which there are so many, too often remain unexplored, not honored by tears or stillness or the bodily manifestations of shock that human death allows.
The loss of a dream…the loss of a friend…of hope, even for a time…a cancelled anticipated visit with family (yes; part of my sorrow) come with the little deaths due to the unknowingness of what might come next, what we might find to anchor ourselves anew; what elasticity we might find within ourselves to be able to absorb loss and be born with fresher skin in the metaphorical ‘next morning’.
Bruce watched his friend disappear, but in the end had the grace and trust to follow:
Gone from mystery into mystery
Gone from daylight into night
Another step deeper into darkness
Closer to the light
As the darkness of the mystery beckoned, he followed…and followed…and came into the light; and as the truthsayers have always said about dichotomies: one does not exist without the other, and each contains elements of the other.
My sense if that we are in another in-between place now, within a great gestation, and know that a grand baby is waiting to be born, and we have just discovered that it is due some day, some time…in our futures.
Holy stillness all around
Death’s no stranger
No stranger than the life I’ve seen
Some of us know it intellectually, some of have sensed the quickening, the movement in our land as more and more people awaken and sense the potential of the birth, the power of it, and the hope of rebirth, we might name reclaiming our dying democracy. Others may be watching and fear the commitment that being midwives to it will entail, or reflexively push away the hope as with garlic and crucifixes…lest the dream of the new babe might prove to be another chimera whose disappearance they know they cannot abide.
Many friends on the boards have told me I am too sensitive and kindly offer me by way of email prescriptive practices to desensitize myself ; some advise more meditation and detachment to erase ego. I understand and value their opinions and practices are useful for themselves; but I think Bruce has it right, at least for me: feel the feelings, follow the images…feel the depression, the anxiety, the fear…until you reach the light again. Reach out to the universe, into the ether toward the place that time exists all at once…where we are part of some whole we can’t comprehend, bound with those silky cocoon threads whose lightest touch vibrates among us all. As though the knowledge is all out there, and we just have to let it in.
At my nascent home website, I expressed this rather clumsily in a discussion about Zen awhile back, and my dear friend teased, ‘Yes, wendydavis; peace of mind is certainly over-rated.’
Many of the recent emails I’ve received from virtual, online friends have indirectly alluded to psycho-spiritual guardedness…or even worse, perhaps exacerbated by the sensitivity to the conventional expectations of the holiday season. Antennae may be tuned too sensitively to the relative holding pattern just now in the democracy movement as Occupies develop new strategies to accommodate winter weather and evictions. To all of us who are suffering a bit more than we’d like, I’ll offer that Bruce seems to have been touched by the wisdom of a messenger that we might choose to follow
From mystery into mystery
From daylight into night
Another step deeper into darkness
Closer to the light
Let’s humbly help one another to find our centers and feel connected in love and in any community we can create. Any and all feelings are just that: feelings; not positive or negative, IMO, and deserve to be honored. Beware of feelings that might cover fear, they can cause harm if we’re not paying close attention to our inner worlds. I know I’ve been a bit waspish here and there of late, and have been working at crying my sorrows closer to the light. This time of suspension may be a good time to seek forgiveness of ourselves, and learn from our errors, and forgive others as we are able, as we husband our strength for what comes next.
Love to you all from a fellow traveler.
xoxo



20 Comments

Beautiful and thought provoking, Wendy. It gives me a little glimpse into some feelings my husband and I are having. We are tempted to flee again to some safer place, away from the killings and the violence and the dead-end street that we live on here in Oakland. And yet we are compelled to stay and see what happens, especially when we have a transcendent day of community like we did last Monday. Our son used to live in a different, equally bad Oakland neighborhood where a bullet had pierced his window and homeless people often camped out in the back yard. We asked why he wouldn’t leave, once he was able, and he said: who am I to leave, when everyone else has to stay here? The idea of being closer to the light is one that I needed to hear. Thank you, my friend.
This is just lovely, Wendy. Feelings guide us much more accurately than our brains, I think. When I talk to my granddaughter about important things I always tell her to listen to that small voice inside and she won’t go wrong. We all have one but today it gets ignored by many people. We will be ready for what comes next, fellow traveler, and the light will be waiting for us.
Let this diary not be determinant in your decision to stay or flee, carol. We all have our limits, and that’s not a bad thing. But we all celebrate the days of community you have experienced recently; they were not only beautiful, but empowering for all of us here.
If it ever seems to be appropriate, would you tell your son how amazing he is, and how much I love him for his empathetic response to your question? You obviously raised a son well and fully, and I am pleased to call you all my (virtual) friends.
Love to you, and no matter what choices you make about safety v. security, real or imagined, you are all just aces in my book.
Ah, Twain, here you are, in the same spirit that Bruce said so mind-bogglingly to his friend: “There you go…” and rocked my world with the simple greeting/declaration…
Your granddaughter is so fortunate to have you as her gammy; she will remember that you trust her to listen to the small voice inside forever; what a gift!
I was kinda afraid that if I pressed the Publish button, they might take away my blogging permit here…so I am so glad to have you visit and approve. And to know that you are my fellow traveler, and that we await the light in good company.
Dunno if you’re a fan of Nichol’s ‘Milagro Beanfield Wars’, but when Mr. wendydavis and I goof about angels, I tell him mine would be just like Amarante Cordoba’s chubby sombrero-ed viejo ‘Coyote’ who said, “I don’t do miracles and shit; I just give advice!”
love to you, and good dreams, dear Twain,
wd
We change our minds every other day about staying or leaving. Having four cats and bad credit limits our options – but having a yard and a place to grow food seems like it would be a good thing and we don’t have that now.
Our son is indeed amazing; I would have to say that we learned our empathy from him. He’s always been that way. It’s kind of a blessing and a curse.
I am really glad you wrote this diary because something IS happening. I can’t figure out what it is yet, but it is definitely something. The universe has begun to put us all in touch with each other, to make us stronger and to get us ready for whatever is coming. At least that’s what it feels like to me. Love to you too; I am honored to be your friend.
Somehow I have never read Milagro Beanfield Wars but I picked it up at a yard sale not long ago. I expect I will be reading it soon so I can see what you’re talking about.
We know all about sons like that, carol. Blessings and curses; our son would, and has, given away anything anyone asks for. Kinda wanted to make him street-wise to protect himself, but he heard the hippie peace message more loudly. Whooosh. Still is pissed of at us (me, really) over it. But…there it is. Always told the kids they;d be on some asshat shrink’s couch one day… ;o)
I am sooo glad you feel it, too.
The honor is mine.
Can’t find the Rolling Stones’ cover of this oldie, Twain, but you made me think of it:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=svo5Jgn8EE8&feature=related
Vera Lynn’s version is the one I always sing to myself.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cHcunREYzNY
Cool alto, no?
@ondelette December 18th, 2011 at 9:03 pm
The Russian Marlene Dietrich? ;o)
Only (blurry) image I’ve ever found online; no videos, nothin’. I just don’t get it. Coyote angel was central to the story.
http://www.lamnews.com/the_mi8.jpg
Holy crow; I just found it! My messenger is on the left, of course. ;o)
http://images.moviepostershop.com//the-milagro-beanfield-war-movie-poster-1020308148.jpg
Yeah. She’s the counterpart to this lady (sorry that the recording isn’t as good).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rzADrNmwYI0
Your diary reminded me of this great song:
“Swimming to the other side,” Pat Humphries
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2xPfOcw-nLo
We are living ‘neath the great Big Dipper
We are washed by the very same rain
We are swimming in the stream together
Some in power, some in pain
We can worship this ground we walk on
Cherishing the beings that we live beside
Loving spirits will live together
We’re all swimming to the other side.
I am alone, and I am searching, hungering for answers in my time
I am balanced at the brink of wisdom, I’m impatient to receive a sign
I move forward with my senses open, imperfection will be my crime
In humility I will listen, we’re all swimming to the other side
On this journey of thoughts and feelings, finding intuition: my head, my heart
I am gathering the tools together, I’m preparing to do my part
All of those who have come before me, band together to be my guides
Loving lessons that I will follow, we’re all swimming to the other side
When we get there we’ll discover, all of the gifts we’ve been given to share
Have been with us since life’s beginning and we never noticed they were there
We can balance at the brink of wisdom, never recognize that we’ve arrived
Loving spirits will live together, we’re all swimming to the other side
Thanks, Kris; it’s really nice. I found another cover that makes the lyrics easier to hear and embedded it up above. The man’s voice reminds me of James Taylor’s here and there. He gets miffed at his mistakes, so root him onward. ;o)
‘…never recognize that we’ve arrived’ made me think of Joni Mitchell’s ‘Ya don’t know what ya got till it’s gone’…and that ‘we see what we see, not so much what’s there.
Thanks, traveler; a nice addition to this thread, for certain. ;o)
thanks for sharing this great song!
“Let’s humbly help one another to find our centers and feel connected in love and in any community we can create.”
Wow Wendy if that doesn’t describe the FDL community I don’t know what does. I believe that this almost prophetic. If it weren’t for the FDL community I would be having a real tough time now. Thanks for this. Recommended. *g*
It’s a son g sublime, isn’t is, dancewater. Love yer screen name, by the way. I was thinking about how swimming and water figured throughout the post and thread. ‘The unconscious’ sometimes in dream analysis.
It recently occurred to me how many flashes of insight I get when I’m even around household water. Seriously. ;o)
I left the diary at Cockburn’s website on a whim.
Welcome, popeye; I know how fully you’ve integrated into this community. I’m so glad for you. I don’t have it so much, but I’m sure the fault is largely mine.
Lemme know if you ever need help; I can usually scrape together a few bucks; my bird cards are selling a bit better just lately, so there can be a bit extra lyin’ around gettin’ stale. ;o)
Love to you, and keep the faith,
wd
Thanks Wendy. When I was talking about having a hard time it;s not financially but mentally. I am a stay at home dad and my wife works so I don’t get much interaction with people except for here. This is a wonderful community with caring and loving people. You really write well and I find inspiration in your diaries.
Just as well it’s not money ya might be needin’. Forty or fifty is all I can usually scrape together, and that just doesn’t go very far these days.
I’m essentially stuck at home, too, so online life (and occasionally phone life with virtual friends) can sometimes seem like it’s RL, lol!
I just put up Graham Nash’s video tribute to Brad Manning; it’s pretty well done, and I think you’ll like it.
And I really appreciate it that you find my diaries inspirational; it means a lot.