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Oh, Jamie…it was so gorgeous to watch you. You looked sooo handsome; no one could keep their ever-lovin’ eyes off you. Talk about Command-and-Control; you got it, babe…in spades!
I just thought I’d just plain die when that idiot of a Corker asked you to give the fuckin’ Committee advice! “If you were sitting on this side of the dais, what would you do to make our system safer than it is, and still meet the needs of a global economy like we have?” Ha! They know who’s the King of the Swingin’ Dicks, don’t they? Wonder how many of em still own your bank stock, ha ha!
But when asked, ““What would society be like without these institutions?”, and you went all poetic about all the good you do for widows and orphans or whatever it was…I swear I practically swooned with pride and love, you sweet thang, you.
But it was just too much to bear when that darlin’ Mike Crapo and that ol’ coffin-sleeper deMint asked you what they ought to do next to keep ‘the industry operating smoothly’, you fucking volunteered to pitch a tent (yes, dear; pun intended) in their offices to help em out, no matter how long it took. My stars; what a patriot you are! Shoot, I’ll bet your friend Barack’ll probably five ya a goddam Medal of Freedom soon…and he’ll inscribe ‘BJ’ on the back side of it…heh.
But shame on you, O my heartthrob. I’d just come back into the living room with fresh coffee, and had taken a big ol’ sip when one of em asked you about the Volcker Rule and those little temporary losses you sustained…and you said, “I don’t know…it’s sooo complicated!” Well, I just blew coffee right outta my nose, I swear, and never did stop laughin’ and sneezin’ for a full five minutes! Used six hankies; I should charge ya for the laundry bill, you wag, you!
Love forever,; call me soon
w
p.s. The enclosed CD is a little bitty bribe to entice ya to tell me how those blow-jobs felt; these weren’t any ordinary blowjobs, you realize. They came the most important and influential Senators in modern history. I think of you every time I hear it…and wonder if some of Joel’s moves are why your codpiece jingles when ya walk, dear!
(With appreciation to George Zornick at The Nation.)
54 Comments
I’m glad you closed with “JUMP, YOU FUCKERS!” All of ‘em should do it.
Wendy, Thanks for asking, AMAZING! and you might have seen this on zerohedge today.
JPMorgan is put on MF Global bankruptcy committee on November 7, 2011
Two weeks later, JPMorgan buys MF Global’s 4.7% in LME for 39 million in a “competitive bidding” process
7 months later, on June 15 2012 the LME gets an offer for $2.2 billion from China’s HKEX, making JPM’s stake worth $103 million
JPMorgan makes over 100% cash on cash return in 7 months while MFGlobal money is still stuck at JPM.
Remember i used 39 million that Jon sent me just before his firm went under, LOL
Bye helicopter waiting off to the jet and a 4 day R&R in Capri. Jon says hi BTW misses everyone, but it is summer and all the parties, chicks etc are in europe. Also great spot to watch the peasants there wail in pain at night from no food, hoping to catch a few leap to their death with our long range telescopes. I must say as much a I enjoy blow jobs from senators those barely legal eastern european girls, heaven.
Please keep up your good work we all get a laugh. promise plan to be back soon and bugger you all some more.
Lots of love, Dimon forever
LOLOL. Rec’d
I love satire! This guy is so far over the top that this post is fitting, thanks for the laugh:)
I saw the hooker analogy, too; right off the bat. http://www.cocktailhag.com/blog/
Great post.
As long as we’re talking “Cabaret,” “Tomorrow Belongs To Me” might be more suited to the current situation.
I just got a call from an insider in Washington. The consensus among the Wall Streeters at the hearing and those who spent the day in Washington…
Is that the Democrats gave better head.
More time on their knees and more looking up for approval etc.
Getting blown by Senators?
Doesn’t even register on Jamie’s suck-off meter.
He gets blown by the Presinint.
I seriously almost went with that one; I clicked back and forth. The performer even looked like a young Jamie mightta looked.
But…then I’d have had to lose the jingling codpiece…tough choice, lol!
ah, these artistic choices…. ;o)
Just for you, psalongo.
And…yes.
DIMON FORVER!!! ROTFLMAO!
But no; hadn’t seen it, but opensecrets.org has the contributions JippMo
invest withgave to the Banking committee Senators, and how much stock in Jippy they USED TO OWN, lol.:o)
Ya almost gotta admire his hubris, I swear. (Now, where’d I put my conscience? In my codpiece? No…shit! I remember; I sold it at The Crossroads when I was twelve…)
You made me laugh so glad I could return the favor. Seriously, wendy every day if it is not this, TPP, NDDA, FED about to give more money to his chums, drones, but TG they put zimmerman’s wife in jail for perjury. It is not just here it is happening everywhere.
Did you know that TSA is now allowing those that fly first go through without even taking shoes off. No these are not people who paid for pre selection. I have no idea how many are working through as just starting to hear about it.
We need posts that start asking us to come together and post solutions. working through the political process is not enough. By the time we do that democracy what is left of it will be dead via TPP and other such things.
I know and appreciate the great job you and david and other posters do here, but we need to move beyond pointing out today’s evil deed and start asking what we can do to change the tide. I am sure together we can start coming up with good ideas but we need to strike at the belly of the beast, failing around the edges will not make a dent.
So what is their weak points and how can we unravel them?
Yer killin’ me with the ‘looking up for approval’! Ay yi yi!
Thanks, news. ;o)
Yeah, but I heard he didn’t enjoy it, and reports are he didn’t inhale, so…
(Thanks, Beach)
What a good laugh. Thank you WD …
If we don’t laugh … well we will be crying an ocean’s worth of tears.
rec’d!!
very funny.
agads. There are some images I just don’t need anywhere near my mind’s eye, Wendy…
And couldn’t bear to watch the actual testimony. Or even … read about it. It’s just too nauseating and predictable. I had a post in mind talking about some good news on this side of the pond – the greater likelihood of a financial transactions tax. And with Germany and France now on board, the rest of the continent will follow, and the UK will fold – either Cameron or his inevitable Labour successor. And that puts a lot of pressure on the US to try it. Especially if a grand bargain comes up and people realize that such a tax could cover *all* the expected shortfall in Social Security funding. Or could create 500’000 jobs a year if invested in infrastructure. Or cover all unemployment benefits and double TANF. etc etc.
Anyway, I no longer have the stomach to look at sleazy senators and d-bag bankers.
rec’d
Some days, some weeks, all that’s left… ;o)
Tweeted. Recommended.
Thanks Wendy.
Good-o. ;o)
Hay-ull, Pug; it wadn’t me (wendydavis), it was ‘w’. And here she gave the Cliff’s Notes version, and yer still gripin’, and no ‘thanks, babe’?
But yer side o’ the pond has been considerin’ it for awhile, no? And do ya really think we’ll import a GOOD idea, and from ? How many blow jobs would THAT cost?Europe, to boot?
Hay-ull, mah boy Timmeh’s down with Bowles-Simpson, looks like. It’s all good.
Just listen to some Joan; she’ll get those nasty images outta yer mind, sweetie. Whatever ya do: just don’t think of the blowjobs in the room…
Welcome, Boo.
Wuz Jamie tweetin’, too?
Yes, considering it for a while. But now the big news is that Merkel has finally come out forcefully in favor. She – the head of the German right wing – is CAMPAIGNING on it. And Hollande is likely to get a straight majority for his Socialist party this weekend in France. And he is pushing it hard. So that just leaves out the UK. And the Tories are under a lot of pressure on finance related stuff. They’ve just raised the tax on big banks, they’ve gotten CEOs to relinquish million dollar bonuses. They’re strengthening the firewall between commercial and investment “casino” banking. And the Robin Hood tax campaign is just gaining strength. Moreover, the EU tax looks like its modeled on the limited transaction tax they’ve already got on stocks in the UK. So they’ll cave eventually.
And, when it comes to the big capital markets players, that just leaves the US banks. And the excuse up until now has been that it “must be implemented globally”. Which, with all the other big banks covered … leaves just the American banks. I.e. that excuse is no longer viable.
So, then the only remaining rationale for avoiding it is the “inefficiency” argument. That it will reduce investment in the US. But if you take the funds – estimated conservatively at 80 bn dollars per year – and dedicate it to funding infrastructure investment, then THAT remaining rationale also looks hollow.
But that debate will only happen if the Dems can be forced to let the Bush tax cuts sunset, so that a new grand bargain on taxes needs to be forged. Then you have to defend the proposition that we should forego this tax and instead cut Social Security. Or cut discretionary spending 30%. And faced with that stark choice, there’s a decent chance the Dems can be shamed into pushing this idea. Especially now that they’re losing the fight for Wall Street money. If the bankers haven’t bankrolled their reelection, they might be more amenable to taking them on…
LOL
Thank you, I needed a good long, deep belly laugh, and you didn’t disappoint!
Reccd.
The Senators on their knees was a nice touch but it really didn’t matter – Jamie already had the Presidential cufflinks, which he flashed to great advantage, so he already had the top guy kneeling. What a farce!
Don’t drop the soap around that fucker. Nice Wendy! I really enjoyed this post…reminds me a lot of the posts at zerohedge- they are witty bastards.
Thanks for the “set up”…
You’re cool.
That bit about TSA no longer making First Class passengers remove their shoes?
If true, that would just prove that government never learns. Almost all the 9-11 hijackers were in First Class.
Forgot to say it but thanks for the laughs, Wendy.
Awwwww, Pug. Sounds like a diary to me, ‘specially if ya flesh out the bits about the firewall between commericial and investment banking, and a few other bits, like about Hollande’s mebbe majority. But for today, just today…I’m feelin’ frisky and frivolous to the Nth degree. Tomorrow is the People’s Summit in Rio, and it looks like it’s militarized pretty heavily.
And to paraphrase Tony Hillerman, I’m a dilettante Indigenous-lover.
love forever, call me soon (lol!)
w’s alter-ego
Welcome, OFG. Laughin’s a Good Thing; makes our bellies thinner (she sayed hopefully…) ;o)
Congress is no longer hiding the corruption. Just a little surprised that Dimon didn’t hand out checks on the spot. But this was the Senate and John Boehner wasn’t there.
Can’t tell them to “Get a room”. They used a room until now. Didn’t help the public.
Oh yes.
Jump, you fuckers.
x2
Don’t forget the cufflinks:
http://i.i.com.com/cnwk.1d/i/tim/2012/06/13/JamieDimon_620x350.jpg
A little “Hail to the Chief” would have heightened the ecstasy for the boys. Soon boys, soon….
One weak spot is moving money to credit unions and getting governmental bodies to move their money to credit unions or local community banks. There has been a lot of direct action at the local level to do that. Credit unions will also do the refinance to allow people to shut down their credit cards a reasonable interest rates. Some non-profit credit counselors do this too but you have to watch who they borrow money from; sometimes it’s the same large banks that are the problem.
For a lot of people, the way to deal with TSA is to stop flying and bankrupt the airlines. Amtrak or buses go most places the airlines do. Yes, the time is an issue but there are a number of routes (not all yet) that provide wi-fi.
The difficult one is defunding the oil companies, given the current state of technology.
And where there are distinguishable consumer products, boycotts can work.
Problem with all of these is that a whole lot of folks have to be organized to do them and that organization might best be accomplished by pitching all of them together instead of issue by issue. If folks took the time that they were going to devote to electoral politics GOTV and instead promoted these tactics, especially the defunding of the banks, it might provide some pressure.
The other obvious weak point is labor, but getting consensus to do anything there is extremely difficult.
Another great post, wendy…! Occupy Hilo is making noise, tonite, I’ll be attending another Community meet-up, with three County Councilors in attendance(maybe more), and, probably two Mayoral candidates too…! They actually sought us out to attend/hold the meeting…! We’re planning to Livestream it and upload it here, if anybody is still up/interested…! ;-)
“Oh, Jamie…
HaHA!
Yeppers; now that ‘get a room’ can refer to Senate Chambers…all bet are off. Pretty freaking bald, all of this, but how many citizens have a clue about any of it?
Indie media is ever more crucial.
Pretty fucking sad that ‘jump you fuckers’ theme is almost more relevant now…four years later. Feudalism, fascism, whatever…it’s Just Plain Wrong.
The human suffering was entirely avoidable, all jests aside.
You’re right, F.Campbell; I shouldn’t have left them out. In the Beltway, cuffs are the modern-day codpieces, as in the West are belt buckles, which is even more hilarious, as Ah’m now a Western Gurl in a Mormon-settled valley.
So many symbols, so little…time.
Thanks for the fun comment. Laughing while being hijacked; whodda thunk it would have come to this so soon after the Hopeathon? We need to up our game, obviously.
Have no earthly idea why, but: for you, and anyone else. Think Townes van Zandt wrote it, he said he had no idea what it was about. I love that, lol.
ms wendydavis–
That was an awesome diary–you really outdid yourself this time.
Dont’ know which I liked more–your rendition of the hearing, or the video of Liza and Joel.
I do love dancing. For the past three seasons, I’ve even watched the last three shows (semi-finals and finals) of DWTS–I know, shouldn’t own up to that on a lefty blog. :0) Jennifer Grey (who won the trophy one season, BTW) had Joel on with her in a rather sweet, but sort of silly segment. Anyway, I’ve got to hand it to him, he must be pushing 80 years old, but looks almost the same as he did in Cabaret.
I’m “pooped” after getting in a LONG discussion over on the news side earlier this afternoon (Geithner: Get Ready For Bowles-Simpson). I do like to drop in on that side, every now and then.
Thanks for the walk down Memory Lane, and a real good chuckle.
Blue
Shoot, Twain; I’m sorry; I get so confused with this un-nested stream; I start at the bottom, then get flummoxed as all giddy-up. Don’t take it personally, please, I never know what day of the fookin’ week it is, lol. But pretty damned funny on the cufflinks OBomba-kneeling!
Good on you and Occupy Hilo, dear Tuttle, and I did your War and Spin post, but had nothin’ to offer, really.
That the candidates sought you out is certainly a mark of respect, whoosh.
But so many proxy wars…so little time. Africom is on the march again, but mobile, we’re hearing, I assume in the Wesley Clarke tradition (why was there so much Lefty love for him, not to mention the raging Jon Tester?) What idiots Libruls have proved to be.
Yeah, well…after a second post about w’s heartthrob, I’ve found it convenient to soothe Mr.wendydavis’s feathers a bit. He reckons it’ll all be fine if Jamie just forks over him some Insider Advice. ;o)
Read DD’s diary on Geithner goin’ bullish on S-B’s; lord love a duck. I love Joel and Jennifer, AND wish I could still dance well, damn. In my dreams I can, plus walk, run, play baseball…tra la la..
But this one’s a fave; some of the best dancing ever, plus I’m a complete sucker for well-choreographed production numbers, anyway.
For you, Blue; boogie down! Sexy? Whoosh!
Thanks, for the fantastic video, wd. It linked me to several others which were equally as good. Jennifer Grey dedicated one of her competition dances to Patrick Swayze, and the troupe with several other professional dancers did a beautiful tribute to Swayze.
Blue
P.S. I hoping that the link below will link you to the dance tribute to Swayze. Sometimes I can get a link to work on this blog, other times I can’t. Apologize in advance, if it’s not workable.
http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=DWTS+dance+tribute+to+Patrick+Swayze&mid=882E86895EB177AB3BED882E86895EB177AB3BED&view=detail&FORM=VIRE2
It worked, and the ‘Time of my life’ choreography was just the same as in ‘Dirty Dancing’, I think. (She kinda blew the flying leap, but it’d be pretty hard, lol.) thank you, that was fun.
Mr.wendydavis said I blew the link I’d meant to give you to Cell Block Tango on my last post (the one I’d given to rc (grin); I always blame my mouse. ;o) Loved Chicago without reservation, and also All That Jazz, which was the same choreographer, Bob Fosse.
Night. ;o)
I’m not sure I should read any further, since I am quite sure no comment will top “looking up for approval.” So much essence captured in so few words. Of course, it applies to the entire committee, with possible exception of Merkeley (only possible). But, seriously, we should be so far beyond talk and ridicule by this point, it’s so infuriating that we are not.
It was a stellar and true minimalist image News brought, wasn’t it?
Sounds like Jack Reed tried a little bit, but still…
Hope it made ya laugh, rc.
Another great wendydavis joint, proud to recommend it. Some days, the crazy lady from Colorado seems to be the only defense, or perhaps I should say temporary antidote, against the crazy bastards who rule and ruin the world. Love ya w/o limitation, you beast. And, since I also love dance, I must say that the highest skill levels on regular TV are, IMO, to be seen on So You Think You Can Dance?, also brought to us by a pestilential source, unfortunately. But, gotta get your sugar where ya find it. ;-)
There is a diary currently up about the “Oldest Known Bone Flute.” Just thought I should mention it lol.
Sooooo glad ya enjoyed it, rc. Some days my posts make ya seethe, some cry, so I reckon when the laughter bubbles up, it may mean we all need to drown ourselves in laughter as antidotes.
I love you, too…hadn’t thought about ‘limitations’, lol! Don’t watch any of the dance or other reality shows, really, but the clip from Blue was nice.
all my best,
the Colorado Beast
p.s. ‘If the Bone Flute Fits,…..’ (Yer in trouble? You can finish it; never.mind.) lol!
Bugger all, mswinkle. I just saw this comment; I get so lost on these threads. I’m sure it’s too late now, and I do apologize for missing it (prolly others as well).